Comments on Mommy Matters: 3 things not to say to someone going through infer...

You hit the nail on the head here. These are my to...

2010-05-19T13:14:43.004-04:00

You hit the nail on the head here. These are my top pet peeves! So glad you had the guts to post it---and now I'm gonna share it!

Hannah, I didn't think you were mean and snott...

2010-02-10T01:30:39.571-05:00

Hannah,
I didn't think you were mean and snotty at all! Was my response rude? I didn't mean to be if it came across that way.

Did you also get the helpful comments of, "Wow, I just look at my husband and get pregnant." I was never really sure what they were trying to say to me...was it to encourage me to look at their husband? Or were they really just rubbing my face in it?

Yes, people say silly, stupid and unfortunately hurtful things when it comes to infertility.

It is a lot easier to take now that I'm surrounded by my four blessings. I know you feel the same way about yours.

; 0 )

I wasn't meaning YOU thought that way. I hope...

2010-02-09T23:07:56.823-05:00

I wasn't meaning YOU thought that way. I hope it didn't come across that way. I just meant some people almost force it on others and while I believe it is a gift and a miracle to my family I don't believe it is the path for everyone.

I had many years of infertility and heard all kinds of crazy. I honestly thought I would smack the next person who told me to "relax" or get drunk before doing the deed.

Anyway, If I came across as snotty I apologize...I am actually pretty nice :)

Hannah, I believe adoption is a wonderful gift too...

2010-02-08T08:21:26.893-05:00

Hannah, I believe adoption is a wonderful gift too. It is definitely not a consolation prize. People build their families in a variety of ways and some of them in multiple ways. I am praying with my husband about expanding our family through the GIFT and MIRACLE of adoption. My husband's hesitation has more to do with his age and the number of children we have than anything else. We are also not sure if we would pursue international, local or foster care adoption.

People say stupid things. Both my children came t...

2010-02-08T00:02:47.461-05:00

People say stupid things. Both my children came to me through the miracle of adoption. I experienced several years of infertility and it is painful.

I think adoption is a beautiful, amazing miracle but obviously not everyone else thinks so.

I definitely agree with the third one. I think th...

2010-02-07T21:43:04.199-05:00

I definitely agree with the third one. I think that it is hard to know what to say when you are trying to comfort your friends who are going through this. I would like to be supportive through the process - but I think that other than remaining positive and keeping faith that it will happen, it is hard to say much more without some foot in mouth occurring.

Kiran

I had all of those comments while trying to conce...

2010-02-07T20:59:41.416-05:00

I had all of those comments while trying to conceive. We did eventually have our daughter through fertility drugs, but then decided to adopt our son from Guatemala. I couldn't believe how many people said to us that I would probably get pregant now that we had adopted-- why couldn't they just be happy for us adopting our precious son!! It was as if he didn't matter and he was a magical way for us to get pregnant. Over 5 years later, I can't imagine our family being any different. I love the kids that God blessed us with.

Blessings,
Shannon C

Yikes. People SAY those things? Ouch. I confess t...

2010-02-07T20:45:15.192-05:00

Yikes. People SAY those things? Ouch.

I confess that I don't know what to say to people struggling with this. I usually just keep my mouth shut or tell them that I will pray for them.

I do care and will listen, but don't have any personal experience to know what to say.

Beautiful!!!

2010-02-07T20:32:23.626-05:00

Beautiful!!!