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Questioning Adoption

This post from We are that family got me thinking about my motives for adoption.

I’ve written about my desire to adopt before, here, but I’ve never really questioned my motives.

Why do I feel drawn to adopt? Why does anyone?

How do you know if you are really meant to adopt?

The bible specifically calls for Christians to take care of orphans (James 1:27). I believe that means that all of us must do something to help the orphans of the world. The ones who have been abandoned, discarded, abused or neglected.

This means children of all ages who have no parents. Children who live down the street, in the next county and in another country. Foster children, children placed for adoption and children living in orphanages.

The bible also asks for us to take care of the poor (Proverbs 31:8-9, Proverbs 28:27) and to share what we have with them. As Christians we are called to live out our beliefs in actions, not just words( 1 John 3:17-18). We give so much ammunition to the unbelievers when they hear our words and never see our actions.

I believe that your personal testimony has a lot to do with what your purpose in life is (Romans 8:28). I believe that whatever heartache you’ve experienced in your life, God will turn to good. And maybe one day you’ll even be thankful for it. Imagine that.

In my life I have experienced what it is to be abused, to be unwanted and unloved by my parents. I believe it has caused me to become a more intentional parent, and for that I am grateful. I also believe it has caused me to realize that you don’t have to give birth to love someone or to matter to them.

I believe that one person loving you can change your life.

Throughout my life I have been mothered and fathered by others. I was in fact “adopted” at 38 following our trip to Israel. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me, at 38 to have parents who want me. Even though my adoption didn’t involve contracts or government seals, it is in my heart.

So, where does that leave me on this journey to find out what our family’s true calling is?
It still leaves me on my knees in prayer.

But it caused me to see that I should not just do one thing. I should do everything I can do. The big (adopting a child) to the seemingly (but not so) little thing of sponsoring a child or in our case children who are poor and/or orphaned.

Are you at a crossroads in your spiritual journey?

Is there something pressing on your heart but you are unsure of the direction?

What can you do today, while you prayerfully consider your other options?

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  1. What a beautiful post. Heading to read your links!
    Thank you for sharing your heart!
    Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,
    P.S. Please let your precious children know … the prayers worked. We've got power in Lagonoy! Praise God!

  2. The desire to adopt has been on my heart for YEARS. While I do not know exactly what I am to do with this desire (especially since David does not share this with me), I know that God would have us do SOMETHING. You are right, God does not waste our hurts– they can all be used for His glory and for making an impact on someone's life.

    My burden for missions is also very very strong… and here I sit in my cushy little house with my wants within reach. I felt guilt for quite a while about this. But then God showed me that sometimes He gives us resources to help others (orphans, families, missionaries, widows…)– and that is no less of a calling too!

    I wish we were neighbors so you could come over for a cup of coffee and a face-to-face chat!

  3. Sometimes I feel pulled in different directions. So many things on my heart, so many things I want to do! It's the *I* part that I worry about. I don't want to be distracted by “good” things when God is trying to lead me to do the “best” thing. There is much to pray (and wait) about. I hate never been very good about waiting.

  4. We made our decision to adopt through a TON of prayer. We have actually been in the process a couple of years and suffered extreme loss when the little boy we first were adopting was diagnosed with a terminal illness back in Jan. 2009 and we had to halt the process. But we see how God used us in that situation and how He knew that that we were not the family He had chosen for that little boy (that little boy has now been adopted by another American family who has access to the medical facilities that he needs ~ praise God!) We are now waiting to travel to get our 13 year old son from Ukraine who actually spent Christmas with us through a hosting program. Have you ever heard of hosting programs? They are wonderful opportunities for families who are considering adoption.

    Anyway, the decision to adopt is a big one. And it's one that should be made only after much prayer. And if one does not quite have peace about doing it yet, then it's best to keep going forward in prayer. However, it's also important to make sure that our indecisiveness is not based upon fear or a feeling of inadequacy.

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